Don’t get me wrong. I agree that our kids are racing to nowhere. I first became aware of this when my son came home upset that he wouldn’t be able to become an engineer because he wasn’t in the “right” math class. He wanted to know if I could talk to someone and get him moved. He’d go to a tutor, he assured me, to be certain he wouldn’t get a bad grade that might impact his GPA.

I was speechless—OK, nearly speechless. This happened 11 years ago, when my son had just started sixth grade. Fast forward to today and he is, in fact, in college as an engineering major. He did just fine without me bending the universe to his will and/or catapulting him forward in a desperate bid for what?

And yet, even as I remain convinced that parents have to hold the line on excessive shoving when it comes to our kids, I also remain convinced that homework does serve a useful purpose. The chance to tackle the questions and problems on their own, outside of class, give my kids an opportunity to experience the information in a new way. They have to think it through on their own, seek the answers on their own, and ultimately frame and ask a question the next day—timid child or not—in order to get the answer. All of that is excellent practice for life outside the classroom.

Homework also forces them to organize their time, discover what does and does not work for them when they have to focus on something for an extended period of time and learn to plan ahead in order to get things completed well and on time. It’s a learning process that is often as painful for me as it is for them, but it’s a process that’s necessary. It’s also one I’d rather see them go through well before they hit campus with all its temptations and diversions.

Having said all that, I think the homework load should match the age of the student to which it is assigned. I’m not sure how it’s done now, but when my kids were in K-2, homework was given out on Monday in a packet due on Friday.  The homework consisted of a page or two an evening. The idea of the packet was that we could do the homework when it fit our schedule. As they got older, they got more homework. In middle school, they had homework pretty much every night. It required setting aside time to think it through. With all the other distractions of middle school, that homework provided good practice and thinking time. By high school, there was homework every night and on weekends. The Advanced Placement classes had a lot of homework, but they were AP classes. By definition they have a lot of homework.

Rather than abolishing homework altogether, it would make more sense to me to ban homework on homecoming weekend and during winter and spring breaks. That would allow every kid the time to participate in homecoming activities. It also would allow every kid to kick back and relax with family and friends a few times during the school year. Want to reduce the load a bit more? Have homework assigned in certain high school subjects on some weekends and other subjects on the alternate weekends. Just don’t flat-out abolish homework.