For the last few weeks, my first-grader has had a major freakout at least one day a week before school. Crying. Whining. Lots of complaining. Dragging her feet. More crying.

The first time, I wasn’t sure what was happening. It was a Thursday, so I thought she didn’t sleep well and was just hitting the end-of-the-week wall that we all sometimes hit.

The second week, I thought it was just a coincidence that her upset was on a Thursday morning, but by the third week, I figured something was up with Thursdays. And I was right.

Thursdays are math quiz days, those weekly little buggers that test a student’s knowledge of basic facts. When I was young, they called them "Mad Minutes" and we had one minute to complete as many problems as we could. My heart still speeds up and my palms get all sweaty when I think about them. Sometimes these little math quizzes are called "Fast Facts" or "Fact Finds" or "Math Quiz Mondays," depending on the school. No matter what they’re called, some kids love the challenge, some are totally indifferent and some lose sleep over it. My daughter seems to be the latter. 

I’m not here to begrudge the quiz. I know the purpose, I see the value and I appreciate that our teachers are doing their very best in one of the most difficult jobs around—educating our children. However, I also know that my 7-year-old needs to learn strategies she can use to deal with the anxiety that these tests—and future assessments (such as the Maryland School Assessments which begin Monday), I’m betting—will cause her.

We initially tried what seemed obvious to my husband and me: Working on the math facts with my daughter. In fun ways and in sneaky ways and in straight-up old-school math fact practice ways. Our thinking was that by improving her math-fact skills, her confidence would increase, the test wouldn’t be anxiety-producing and ultimately her stress would lessen. I think we were almost correct. We had been paying more attention to math since early winter when we realized she needed more support there, so adding an extra little math-fun in here and there wasn’t that big of a deal.

Things seemed to settle a bit. But the major freakout was the morning of the math unit assessment, and that’s when it dawned on me that my daughter needed more than just help with math facts. She needed help in dealing with stressful situations.

So I’ve been looking into a "mom and me" yoga class and we’re all doing more deep breathing. We’re trying to spend more one-on-one time with her, talking about school, friends and life in general. We’re focusing on extracurricular activities like swimming and soccer. We’re arranging more play dates. We've been in touch with her teacher. We’re doing what we can.

Everyone needs ways to move gracefully through stressful situations, no matter the age. Perhaps if we introduce our kiddos to strategies and activities that will keep them calm, cool and collected in stressful situations early on, they’ll be better able to handle craziness when they’re hit with it. I’m not sure. I’m totally learning as I go—just like everyone.

I do believe that the way kids deal with stress has a lot to do with what's handed to them genetically, along with the behaviors modeled for them at home. The ways that they see the adults around them handle anxiety and stress is so influential in shaping what kiddos view as normal, what's acceptable and what's right. Unfortunately, positively handling stress is a constant work in progress for this mom of three. 

In fact, please excuse me. I have a date with my yoga DVD.  Ommmmmmm.