I never would have believed it before I became a parent, but a good babysitter is hard to come by. And what a family would do to secure a good sitter never ceases to amaze me.

It used to seem like there was an over-abundance of high school kids just hanging around, waiting for a call to come and sit for my kids or mow my lawn, but that’s not the case. Kids these days are busy—B-U-S-Y—so between sports, lessons, activities and jobs, it’s hard to find a responsible teen who has a free night, let alone a free Friday or Saturday night. Or if I do stumble across one who’s not busy, she’s most likely not into babysitting or helping little ole us with our little ole crew of three kids and a desperate-for-some-attention dog.

So in order for parents to find a decent sitter, I have found that it takes a bit of planning and a whole lot of love. Here’s what we did. Perhaps it will work for you, too:

• Email your friends: I’ve sent out desperate emails to my pals along the lines of: "I needed a sitter weeks ago. I’m dying here. I haven’t finished a conversation with my husband for months and I doubt I’d recognize him if I ran into him head-on. Can you please help me?" Or: "I’m so bombarded with work that the kids (who are 7, 5, and 4 years old) have had to prepare their own meals for the last five days. Does anyone have a name of a sitter who can make these kids some mac and cheese?"
• Open your options: I once thought that all of our babysitters had to be young women. However, one of our absolute favorite sitters is a young man who just so happened to be my son’s absolute favorite swim coach last summer. He’s awesome, the kids love him and everyone’s happy.

I have not tried these, but I know people who have done so with success:

• Create a flier: Post that baby at church, at preschool, at Starbucks. Throw one up at local elementary schools, the library, the grocery store or on Patch. Someone who knows someone who knows someone may see it and call you.
• Post a message: On a local online message board requesting a reliable sitter with references or your moms group list serve, the PTA list serve or the local homeschool group list serve. Again, someone who knows someone who knows someone may bite.
• Sittercity.com: Several of my pals have used this service with great success, so it must be worth checking out.

Once you find a good (and by "good" I mean responsible, reliable, worthy-of-spending-time-with-your-precious-angels) sitter, keeping her—or him—happy and eager to return is not that hard. And even if you’re not 100 percent prepared 100 percent of the time, that’s OK if you’ve got your act together more often than not. 

You want to keep a sitter? Be good to her financially and emotionally. Really, if your family loves her, pay her well. If the going rate is $10 an hour, and she took care of your four kids all evening, made them dinner, entertained them, gave them baths and put them to bed—and cleaned up the house, throw in a few extra bucks. If she’s fabulous with your kids, can manage your dog (i.e. remembers to take him out), and the house is a mess, still pay her well. 

Remember to take care of your sitter emotionally as well. If you say you’re going to be home by 11, be back by 11. (FYI: This is where my husband and I need some serious work.) Most likely, she’s got parents who are waiting up for her and will be worried if she’s not back in time. If she tells you that your kids were misbehaving and rude, follow up with your kids. Ask them what happened, and if necessary, have them create apology cards that they will deliver the next day. Yes, we’ve had to do this, and as embarrassing as it is, it’s a necessary evil if your kids get babysitter nutty.

And don’t forget to take care of your sitter in other ways, too—leave your contact information on the counter, be accessible at all times and make the environment as safe as possible. Leave some snacks out and make sure there are enough chicken nuggets or frozen pizza for her dinner. No one’s happy on an empty stomach, especially a teenager.  

And if you really, really want to have a high return rate on this totally awesome sitter? Have her put your family on her calendar for the same day each month. There's nothing like having a permanent date night with a guaranteed sitter every second Friday of every single month.