Some months are better than others. Some months, there’s just one party. Other months, there’s two or three. It’s hard, really hard, but moms these days have to do it. We just have to. 

We’ve got to do it so that we maintain our mojo and other women just like us maintain theirs.

On these nights, we have to resist the temptation not to put on our sweats after dinner, resist the comforting pull of our glasses and instead keep our contacts in a little longer, keep the hair ties on the counter and not in our hair. We’ve got to dust off the checkbook and throw it in our purse. We must grab the car keys and trudge out of the house and into the wilds of suburbia—into the excitement-filled friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend’s "home show" party.

It may be a jewelry party: Silpada, Premier, Lia Sophia, Bella Shaye or AuraStella. Or it could be a Pampered Chef, Tastefully Simple or even a Party Lite or a Scentsy party. Hmmmm, those things smell great. Maybe it’s a watch party, a craft party or a book party. Perhaps it’s the infamous linens party or the newer—and totally cute—initials party.

Although I personally haven’t been to a CAbi party or a Lexiwear party, I’m ready for the pitch, anxious for an invite. I love clothing and I’d love to hang out with my buddies and look at beautiful pieces.

The really crazy, somewhat shady knock-off purse and jewelry parties always get my heart pumpin’, as do the "Sell Your Gold for Cash" parties. Really? Where are my friends getting this kind of bling? It’s certainly not hanging out in my jewelry box, but it is nice to know that the ring I thought was real gold is actually just some cheap-o metal. . .

This week, I’m going to my first custom-made T-shirt party and I have to admit that I’m giddy with excitement—and I’m not even joking. Will I buy a ton of shirts? Most likely no. Will I buy one or two? Maybe. We’ll have to see. I do know that I adore the gal who’s hosting it and so I’m looking forward to an excuse to see her and several other pals whom I don’t get to see enough. Learning about a new line of custom shirts, while sipping wine and eating sweets? My kind of night.

I’m not saying that I’m Mrs. Lucky Duck because I’ve been invited to a bunch of these at-home demo parties. That’s not the case. In fact, I was so close to inviting myself to a CAbi party a few months back—because I didn’t get an invite myself—that I could taste it. I took a deep breath, put my shoulders back, gathered my wits and tried to remember that nobody gets invited to everything.

In retrospect, I’m betting the invitees would have been encouraged to bring people, as it means more biz for the hostess. But I also know that sometimes these parties make people uncomfortable (pressure to buy, pressure to host another party, etc.), so perhaps the woman I was speaking to didn’t want to put me in that position. That’s what I’d like to think.

In any case, yes, sometimes when schedules are tight and when I don’t know the hostess at all, I politely decline the invite. Sometimes we don’t have two dimes to rub together, so I attend to show my support, but I don’t stay long. If I honestly like the items and think I’ll order at a later date, I’ll take the gal’s business card. I now know enough to understand that the catalogs don’t come cheap.  So it doesn’t make sense for me to take one if I’ll end up recycling it. 

I’ve found several things to be true as far as these events are concerned:

• Be honest: The more honest and upfront you are with the hostess, the better. If you really only have $25 to spend at the party, tell her. Say: "I have about $10 to $20 to spend tonight, but it looks like you’ve got some really great items in that price range. Can you recommend anything?" She’ll be so glad you’re buying something and she’ll totally understand.
• Be time-conscious: If you have absolutely no intention whatsoever about spending a cent at the party (anything at all) then for goodness’ sake, don’t waste the hostess’s time asking a hundred questions about the big-ticket items. You’ll just get her hopes up, waste her time and then it’ll be all sorts of uncomfortable as you wiggle your way out of the purchasing part.
• Be respectful: No matter what is being explained, shown, or demonstrated, just be nice. Remember that these products are everything for the woman who’s up front—most likely it’s paying the bills or sending her kids to camp this summer. So even if you think something’s totally awful, just smile politely.
• Be forward-thinking: You might not need another pair of earrings, but can you use this event to cover a sister’s upcoming wedding shower? Your mother-in-law’s birthday? You’re niece’s confirmation? Sometimes these parties have great little bonuses and incentives for purchases. Use them to your advantage and cross something off of your to-do list down the road!
• Be there: If you can swing it, even for an hour or so, consider going. Go to show support for a woman who is trying to make money, who is taking time out of her day to plan and prepare for the event, who has invested in the whole start-up kit, who is doing what she can to get out there. She’s trying—so support her.

I know these parties can really add up—believe me—but especially when you see the woman every single day, sometimes twice a day, I think it’s worthwhile to attend these parties. Who knows—maybe you’ll really fall in love with the product, will really believe in it and will want to give it a "go" yourself? You never know . . .